Women Of Destiny

concentrate.
"lup, lup, lup right lup. lup, lup"
i hopped, but on the wrong foot.i slapped my hand onto my face with a sheepish smile for the upteenth time.
"aiyo, you got it wrong so many times. act cute ah, brenda?" my senior mentioned, half in jest.

that just did it.

everything was going well at first really, doing somewhat relaxed drills. i kept fumbling, but i always thought it's ok to make mistakes if you learn. then when i was doing a march formation that comment hit me so hard. it was that old 'nostalgic' pain.
my old wound, once so delicately plastered, now ripped open to the cold. alright, spare the drama and the emo factor. maybe my senior was just frustrated that my friend could get it faster. or she could really mean it.
i thought i could take rejection already from last year's incredibly shocking blogging episode. oh well, never underestimate the power of time. i have been praying/complaining to god about all my social troubles lately too.
you know. disagreeing with friends. yada. i guess i simply have a longer way to go.
on the bright side, god has blessed me immensely on my tests. i thought i would fail the bulk of them, but i scored a1s and a2s! like whoa, wow, WHOO! i was like: IT'S A MIRACLE!He helped me get into an audition for something i wanted too. i don't think i'll make it,but still,YAY. then i have been trying to get closer to god. is it working?
truthfully no, i don't think so. i mean being rude to my friends when we disagree isn't all holy. i told them they were bl**** lame for goodness sake. i'm not going to say it was their fault. i'm the christian here and all i can do is swear at them. well what do you know.
i suppose i'll have to try. i think god prefers those who try then those who whine and cry.

still healing,
brenda