Women Of Destiny

After so long, here i am. Just got home from dinner. Its the FIRST time in so many many many years that my father brought us out to eat! I thought my mum was joking with me when she told me this after i got home from church. I hope he will bring us out often. Our family just dont have those kind of family day or family time etc. No display of affection for one another or greetings of birthday wishes or celebration of special occasions. We just dont have this culture.
Anyway...

I haven been blogging for a pretty long time not because nothing special or blog-worthy has yet to happen to me. On the contrary, alot did happen, something comparable to a roller coaster ride. Like immediately after my common tests, i have so much to blog about but i deleted that post. Thought the post was a little too "heavy", you know, with i'm-going-to-flunk-the-papers-badly kind of feeling..

And training resumed almost immediately even though we supposedly have 1 more day of break. Coach's words when i asked him whats the hurry, " You think i'm so kind to let your enjoy ah? Only 3 more weeks left!"
Fine.

Actually i have been thinking whether i should blog about this. As all know, the start of a new school year means new students coming in. For my CCA, we recruited more juniors than i expected. There are quite many of them. Around 11? And lately, we've also been discussing whether we should take part in the A Div Bball Tournament. Eventually, we decided to take part. Here's the problem the seniors face: only 12 are selected for the team to participate in the tournament. *Counting..* We have about 24 on the team. WONDERFUL.

Knowing this, i suddenly want OUT of the whole thing. Its enough that im in a competitive CCA and i HATE competition. Now, i will have to compete with the juniors. And coach have been drilling into our heads that the juniors have great potential blah blah. It just means many of us (seniors) might not get into the team.

Sorry for beating around the bush. Ok, so my point is.
I DONT WANT TO BE REPLACED. By them. We (seniors) were discussing about this, and many of us felt that its pretty unfair if they get to play just after weeks of joining us. BECAUSE, we were really the ones who kind of "held" the team together. Like the "forefathers". haa. We've been training so hard for 1 year plus and, really, we dont want it to go to waste. Some of my team-mates are already contemplating quiting as they felt it would be a waste of time to go training and not be selected in the end. Nvm. I should drop this subject.

There's training tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it anymore because coach would be using this few days to choose the 12. Not confident at all.

Oh, and I've almost taken back all my common tests papers this week. The results were astonishing!! Very unexpected judging the state i was in when i did my papers. Anyway, it wasnt me, but GOD. I prayed, mum prayed, cyn prayed and He answered. My eyes also popped out when i saw my marks. I just couldnt believe the results i got la. So, i owe it all to GOD! =) Praise Him. I think its the first time He's so real to me, like, He's the one who marked my papers. *Gasp*

I'm so happy................................

Signing off,
Jo

alright, i'm taking time off my studying schedule to do this post. but you can keep a secret i trust!


i won't deny that this week was absolutely hetic and horrid rubbish. still, i plan to makE this into a psalm format, where it begins all pensive and emo but ends positively.


well, i was pleasantly surprised at the devotion and the sermon topics. you see, my closest friends have been really nasty and hurtful to me all week. to avoid having more bitterness towards them, i shall not elaborate. but anyhow, it cut really deep into me, especially when they were all pre believers so i couldn't react negatively in case they question 'what kind of christian are you?'well, today the topic was about reconciling for the sermon and facing difficult times for the devotion booklet. i suppose i really have to start trusting god with this, for i have been feeling that lately, i have been influenced from all my pre believing friends(which means all but one actually.) also, i'm thinking of apologising to that friend of mine who hurled insults at me. i didn't react in the most postive manner, and even though i feel that it's not really my fault, i should still apologise. i just have to submit this hurt to the lord, as much as it pains me to do so.

secondly, i remember discussing with my best friend (she's a christian! thank god!) about how our lives had suddenly becoming so meaningless. alright, it's incredibly emo, i know. but try going through my week with a body that has 5-6 hours of sleep everyday and you'll comprehend. we promised each other that we would try our best and reconcile with god, for as everyone says, the end days are here, and i feel such intense fear even till now. obviously i'm not ready. well, both the sermon and the devotion talked about "teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom". it helped a bit, and i'm confident it'll help a lot more for the next week the more i keep it in my heart.


this would be a little off track, but lately something has been irking me lately. don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to accuse anyone here. recently many people have been ranting about their exciting love lives in my school.

'oh, did you hear? XXX got a boyfriend in our class!'

'YYY that prefect has A BOYFRIEND IN VS MAN"

'i'm meeting that shuai ge from XYZ school today! oh my *** he's so hot! i'm so happy!'

then again, let me clarify. i don't hate all these people. neither do i dislike hearing about that part of their lives for it's really quite interesting. they are my good friends even. but it just makes me rather annoyed to some extent for I'M BOMBARDED BY IT. jealously, envy, whatever you can choose to call it, for i'm not too sure myself. i mean even in a girls' school! oh gosh! I KNOW, I KNOW ALREADY. even if no one fancies me i'm fine, until i hear such things. not that it's the guys fault for falling for my sweet and attractive friends, but you get the point! what do you do when you date anyway. after all the movies, romantic walks and dinners, flaunting each other at family gatherings and chinese new year- you can't get married at this age. so i always tell myself-it's ok. now all i need is to focus on my studies and god. nothing else. still, i wish i could have a christian friend to help me throughout this in school. i'm getting rather disgusted with what my friends are doing now.


so, all in all, despite the fact that i'm clearly distressed, i'm still counting on god for guidance to become a happy snowman

Last Saturday was a great time at Abigail's house!! Many thanks to Abi's dad for inviting us to his place. The food was YUMMY-licious!!! Abi has a real nice place & Michael & Benjamin is simply adorable! :)

So dear daughters let's CLOSE RANK!

HELLO PEOPLE! =)

Just wanted to share something with you all. That i can draw the Lion head! -->

I was really chiong-ing through my homework and revision on Sunday night when my little bro (pri 6) came up to me and asked me how to draw "the lion head".

"What lion head?" I said irritably, not even looking at him. So he went to take his book and showed me the "lion head" he's suppose to draw and explained that he have to make a bookmark with some of Singapore's identity to give to the children in Malacca where he is going this coming Friday for a school trip. His friends printed them out but since we dont have a printer, he'll just have to draw.

"Hiya..." I said, pushing away my stuff and started drawing. Eventually, i ended up making the whole bookmark for him. I have to say, it turned out to be quite nice la. Hahaha. I mean i never pass Art during secondary school you know. SO PROUD OF MYSELF =D
Ok, another thing.

Monday, my team-mates and i came out of the school, around 8 plus, and we witness MANY policemen and police vehicles. The vehicles were parked all along the road right from the front of our school gate, with those kind of tapes around the place too. Being the kaypohs that we are, we started asking the people, ( also from our school, haa) that were watching the commotion, what had happened.

Then they started telling us that it had something to do with Mas Selamat because some people actually spotted him and that the press were here blah blah blah. The press part, of course, did not happen, but it was true that it had something to do with the Selamat guy. One uncle, probably from our school too, very kindly informed us that a resident had called in the police due to...forgot what it was but it had something to do with Mas being an ex-resident of Teck Whye, then maybe the good people of Teck Whye Ave were REALLY REALLY worried so they alarmed the police.

It was really a sight, with all the cute policemen in uniform too =)

After so many days of searching and false alarms,i dont think anybody can confirm whether he is still in Singapore since there are reports from mypaper that some "other regional sources" reported he could already be in Bintan since he had travelled there before with his JI members and knew the way really well. Nobody knows. And my friend were even speculating that he could be finished off by some unruly people or that he had accomplice(s) or that bribery were at play..

Let's pray that no matter what, nobody will be hurt. Because you know he might have already shave off his hair or his moustache or whatever because any criminal who have the ability to reason will know better than to look EXACTLY like their pictures plastered almost every corners of Singapore...........which makes it all the more difficult to recognise him.

Signing off,
Jo

Arlows dears!!!

Have been thinking about blogging tis down but didn't get to do it properly. Okies la, half of me was shy, the other half was due to busyness.

But I guess it's important for you to hear about my personal journey as well. So less shy I will be.

xxx weeks ago, EJ & me met up with Ps Adrian for our very first accountability meetup, through which he shared with us "Courtship 101" module. What he shared was practical stuff that we still talk , joke, apply till today.

(borrowed from EJ)
4 Unhealthy Patterns of Communication:

1. HAWK - Total dominance. Refusal to listen to other party's thoughts and feelings. Just blazing the trail and doing whatever he/she thinks is right by his/her own instinct.

Implications: Danger of becoming a MCP. Ignorance of how other people feel. Tendency of views being rather self centred.

2. DOVE - Peace loving nature and in general always would want to avoid conflict. Whenever potential conflict arises, will always give in. Common statement spoken are "Oh, it's ok.. nevermind", "Yupz.. I am ok (but actually is not)" Always close one eye to everything. Sweeping everything under the carpet kind.

Implications: Danger of suppressing how one really feels. No true honesty in relationship. Little things not processed and shared will amount to big things. soon one day, the carpet cannot contain all the junk and one will just explode internally.

3. OWL - Always using the wise man approach. Typical amongst most guys. Whenever conflict arises, he/she will do his/her utmost best to argue their way through. Seemingly refuse to admit 'defeat' and wants to out talk the other person.

Implications: Danger of pride - refusal to admit mistake or say sorry even when in the wrong. Chinese saying - 死爱面子.

4. OSTRICH - When problems and conflicts arise, he/she just buries their heads in the ground and attempts to escape from everything.

Implication: Escapism is the key word here. Fear of confronting conflicts and issues. Just want to run away. Honestly, running away doesn't solve the issues, it just worsen it.

Pause...................................................

This DOES NOT just apply to BGR, but definitely in our everyday human relationships with one another too. I can identify which unhealthy pattern of communication I need to be mindful of. And I can also identify some of yours too! Like it or not, there is a tendency that our communication pattern is in either one of these catogaries.The key here is to be mindful and don't let these unhealthy patterns inhibit us. :) Stay tuned for 'Courtship 102' module next month.

Luv Cynthia