family =/
family, has really a big impact in each and everyone and of cos that includes me. i bet all of u noe, my parents' are divorced. so naturally, my mum would pay more attention to us and yea, be more sensitive and all that. so yea, she took care of us, loved us any mother could possible love their children and everything.
heh, and i kinda have bad blood with my father D: cos of that time i went to perth that incident. and i remember how happy i was seeing him going there and never coming back. now i kinda miss him D: my freedom with him, the joy, laughter and everything.
my mum never gave me that type of freedom, happiness. she just gave me occasional laughters and all those thingys. life with both my parents and now, with one parent is so different.
at that very point of time, life was kinda tough for me. (LOL i sound old D:) parents getting divorced, going into a new school, siblings busy with wad their doing, studying..and all that stuffs, really complicated. and hahah! u noe why u guys dunno it was so tough? xD cos i didnt share with u all and u all didnt find anything weird about me cos im crazy all the time. LOL.
but yea, i prayed to God about it and hoped He would work miracles in my life. but yea, reality.
so subsequently, 'family' was not important to me. the house was just a place for staying. 'family' only came alive when my cousins came together and we joke and play. or else, 'family' is just a word. but my mother, just by scolding me, or being biased towards my siblings, would cos me to cry in bed or even cry myself to sleep becos of this jealousy or even the hurt that my siblings wouldnt share with me this 'love' that my mother gives them.
and there were points of time where my mother after the divorce had a boyfriend; who was not a christian. my older brother had he's a's and my sister smoking i dunno why and my little brother so young and innocent. i kinda felt that the 'family' pressure was all on me. i didnt want to share with anyone this unbearable pain in my heart. till a point of time i broke down infront of all my relatives(and yes, so embarrasing xD) and of cos i shared and i felt so much better(:
and im sure that God created that moment, that very hour, minute, second for that very gathering to happen. just to let me we happier and not feel so alone and trapped inside me. and miracles do happen in people's life (: it's only whether u believe they do, and if u believe that God would do them for u (:
and gosh pris ! my mum is super biased ! LOL. i guess being the 3rd child is terrible D: or maybe the center child. guess wad? because my sister and younger bro came back from Perth -.-
and gosh, their getting everything they want ! D: crumpler bags, adidas shoes, overshot bills ( and my idoitic sister is asking me to pay for using it when she was in Perth! and thats another biased story D:) oh man, i just hate this part of my life. and now, cos they came back, i got to sleep on the floor ! congrates. and life's not getting any better with them around D: but i guess God would help me with this another crisis eh? (: oh boy, i just love my God <3
okay, enough of my nonsense and naggings. it's already 2 going to 3 in the morning and im still here ! :D i still haven do finish my homework. heh, going to do it now ;D
8 comments:
i asked you yesterday at 6:56pm on msn if you finished your homework and you said yes.
anyway.
i bet your family's not the only family with problems so you shouldn't have just kept everything to yourself.. but then again. it was a tough time. and people tend to withdraw when they go through tough times.
my dad was the less strict of my parents too. but i'm honestly closer with my mom and my mom gives me lotsa freedom etc.. my mom asks me for advice know. she consults me if she has major decisions to make. i think it's because she sees me as a mature young man.. which i consistently show through my thoughts and my actions. or those that she knows of heh.
i felt my family pressure on me too when things were rough. and i was only in primary school when it happened. but i took on the pressure and helped my parents through it. somehow. God is good.
ah yes. when i go home, i get almost everything i want. but it's only because i only get those stuff i really need. not sure about your siblings.. i think your mom feels that she has not loved your siblings adequately for the past X years(?) they have been in perth so she's trying to make up for it..
understand your mom's predicaments (difficulties/problems), before expecting her to understand yours.. yes i think that's rather crucial. don't sweep it away by saying "she is older and should be more mature so she should be expected to understand you and what you're going through". turn it around and think on her behalf. shock her with your maturity. and soon you may just see her change in the way she treats you.
Philip. =]
P.S: for those who want to know (and probably use the info in English or GP or whatever), Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Successful People lists "Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood" as number 5.
KILL THIS INTERNET CONNECTION! I'M TYPING THIS FOR THE SECOND TIME CUZ THE FIRST TIME I DID I GOT DISCONNECTED!!
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disconnected again. but i copied the whole chunk thank God.
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third time. i'm getting tired of this. =/
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ah. oh. 7 Habits of Highly EFFECTIVE People (how did i get that wrong?) is a framework designed to help people achieve first a private victory (independence) and then a public victory (INTERDEPENDENCE) through the culmination of the first 6 Habits. the 7th Habit is about self-renewal; Covey's a Christian so his writings incorporate quite a fair bit of Kingdom values. anyway, point is; INTERDEPENDENCE, TA-DA. that's our season now.
Philip. =]
haha, congrates on being disconnected ! xD heh, i just remember i got hoemwork to do. xD
WHOOHA, I HATE BEING THE MIDDLE KID TOO. ARGHHHH. THINGS ARE JUST GETTING FROM BAD TO WORSE. WTH.
Interdependence, I see. Omg k that means we should all complain together.
xD HAHAH. thats true ! ;D and thats wad we're doing now ! ;D
yes let's kill them
omg rage
oh my. i had no idea until you posted about it. but i think you're really strong. i mean, you know that difficulties always make the heart stronger. i was born in the most blessed family, so i have no idea how it must feel like- but i believe that you are never alone and never the only one to shoulder all the burdens. everything has a purpose, you know? (:
Hey ellyn, its definitely wonderful that you have shared this aspect of your life. U are always so cheerful and ur laughter.. gosh so loud. esp those SCREAMS! Everyone has there own problems. Dun bottle up everything, share with the rest of us ok ? remember, to make the best of every situation. I'm god will always be there for u. Do not envy others and remember that being the middle doesn't mean u are neglected. I'm sure your mum loves u! like they way we all love u ! =)
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