Women Of Destiny

This is a long post...and a gloomy one too.


On the train to Outram, i was wondering out loud to Anna whether i should visit my uncle. I was afraid that there would be awkwardness once we exhausted our conversation.

But i decided to go anyway, if there's really nothing to talk about, i'll just leave, saying i have school tomorrow. I guess i'm just afraid of silence.

Dont get me wrong; i really wanted to pay him a visit. He is one of my favourite uncle after all, affectionately known to us as 姑丈. I know him as a very healthy person, occasionally swimming laps in the swimming pool in his residential area. Hearing that he was admitted into the hospital naturally shocked me. My parents was preparing to visit him this morning, since i cant join them, i decided to go after church.

I alighted at Outram, unsure of which direction to go once i tapped my card. I remembered some pretty vague directions from my mum, "very easy one, just cross the bridge", echoed by Anna's voice "just cross the bridge, can see already". So without really looking at the signs, i exit from the station....and couldnt see any obvious bridge. I ended up walking one big round back into the station again and this time i followed the signs faithfully. Finally i got out, and was pretty much lost again.

Sick and tired of groping my way around, i decided to approach some friendly looking tamil ladies.
Me: "S'cuse me, where is SGH?"
Auntie: There. *pointing to the big building in front of me*
Me: oh....
Auntie: "Which block are you going?"
Me: ahh...*checking my phone* block 4
Auntie: Me too, follow me.

I followed her, while thinking to myself that its God's angels. Ha Ha.
Finally, i was outside my uncle's ward. I looked in and searched for that face that always seems to brighten me up.

However, today i didnt brighten upon seeing him. He was resting, eyes closed, propped up right against his pillow, with his ipod plugged in, a bible by his side. I walked slowly towards him, suddenly feeling so..ache-y, i meant my heart.


He woke up when i touched his hand softly. The minute he opened his eyes and looked at me, i totally burst out crying, in between, trying to force out some sentences. Im ok, he assured me firmly.

But he dont looked like it, he was so frail and tired looking! After i calmed down, we talked. And the conversation just flow, and i enjoyed every minute with him. Yes, there were moment of silent but it was never due to awkwardness, we were just thinking.

I told him everything; my school, my friends, my cell, my annoying brothers etc. He listened. He told me his work, his church, and those people who visited him. I listened. My eyes drifted to the places where the needles was poked in, and it went red again.
I did what normally people do when they visit people in hospital. Cleaned some blueberries and strawberries and both of us ate them and he let me listened to his ipod, let me drink this bottle of promengranate juice that someone bought him, and i even ate his dinner! Before you get critical with me, my uncle just dont want to eat rice. And he was waiting for my aunt to bring food. So i eat lor... i know la, im a 贪吃鬼.

Suddenly, he started coughing mid conversation with someone from his church. I was starting to feaked out when he didnt stop and even coughed out blood. Many blood. The doctor was called in to examine him and i walked out the ward, crying again.

When the doctor was done, i went in. (His friend left, sending his regards and telling me he would pray.) I cried even harder (I really felt like slapping myself), when i went in again. He looked worse! Gosh, i felt so helpless.
After what seemed like forever, my aunt came, she hurried to my uncle's side, bending over to hear him. Then, she came over to me and hugged me, perhaps, she noticed my stupidly reddened eyes. She told me uncle also quite scared
himself.. =(

Then, my cousin sent me home. It was getting quite late.
I think i'm going to skip that useless GP lesson and visit him tomorrow.


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My uncle is a man with strong faith in God. I believe he will be fine. He kept telling me only God can do something about it. He was also telling me, how when you "sow" love, you "reap" love.





Signing off and praying hard,
Jo