Women Of Destiny

Its me again. I think i'm starting to love doing this blog thing =D

School is starting tomorrow. I can already picture myself dragging myself up each EARLY EARLY morning, ringing up teachers for consultations, dark rings circling my eyes, endless tutorials and lecture notes to study up and trying to catch up with my classmates. *SIGH* Oh, this year is the A levels year too. *GROANS AND MOANS* Only one thing is looking up. I went back to school the other day and i notice there are new stall vendors! foooood!

I think i'm having one of those first-day-of-school-anxiety symptoms. Yes, i've been through this every new year. But the previous year and this year is a bit different. No. Very different. Ever since i got into this school, it just felt so difficult to even go to school and face my classmates. And yes, it has been a year now, but i'm still adapting, especially to the people around me.

My wonderful classmates always ask me out, i would always turn down their offer or make up some lame excuses that i would not be free ( i hope none of them read this). I mean, i'm ok with being with them, but i can't stand being with them even outside school. Not that they are mean or what, they are great. The problem just lies with me. Sometimes, it is just harder to find friends we are comfortable with. Especially godly friends. So for some of us, let's not give up.

I've have always felt there is something wrong with me. The older i am, the harder is it for me to make friends. I mean, seriously, some of them are still doing fine. A friend told me " Put me in somewhere new and i'll know at least half the people in there before the day end" when i asked her for advice. I really envy her. Whenever, i meet new people (especially people my age), i thought i can feel them scrutinizing me, like how i wear, how i behave etc etc. I would rather not go near them.



It was really hard for me to accept the fact that i got into this school. All my good friends are in another place. I believed that God put me there a reason. For the first few months, i can feel myself clinging on to God. Tightly. I would pray before i go to school. That everything would go well, that i wouldnt embarrass myself, that there would be lesser notes so that i can have time to revise them. And i can feel myself growing closer to Him.



Unknowingly, i start to really despise going to school. So much so that even passing by that MRT station would make me nausea. haa. Finally, the year ended and I was so happy. But not for long la. Oh, and i slacked so much during this holiday. Supposed to be revising.


Recently, during a sermon, Pastor Khong ( i forgot who) said something like, God will change, not by doing away with going to school, but by changing us, e.g love school. I decided to start this year LOVING it for a change. It'll be hard, but God will help.





Really, i should be sleeping now.

Signing off,
Joanne ( always 17!)